The Hidden Dangers of Sleep Training: Why Co-Regulation is Key for Babies

Sleep training has become a popular method for helping babies develop "independent sleep habits." Yet, recent investigations, including a BBC report, reveal that many sleep trainers operate without regulation and sometimes give advice that can be harmful to vulnerable new parents. Beyond safety concerns, the practice of sleep training raises deeper issues related to race, gender, and the fundamental needs of infants. Babies do not thrive through strict schedules or controlled crying; they grow and develop best when cared for with consistent, loving response and co-regulation.

Why Sleep Training Can Be Harmful

Sleep training often involves letting babies cry for extended periods or ignoring their cues to encourage self-soothing. While this might seem like a straightforward way to establish routines, it overlooks how babies’ nervous systems develop. Neuroscience shows that infants rely on caregivers to help regulate their emotions and physiological states. This process, called co-regulation, is essential for building secure attachment and healthy brain development. While some babies do have some soothing skills, like sucking on their fingers or holding their own hands, babies are incapable of taking themselves out of a stressed state.

Ignoring a baby’s cries can increase stress hormones (for parent and baby), which may negatively affect the baby's brain growth and emotional regulation. For parents, especially mothers, sleep training can also disrupt breastfeeding and milk supply. Prolactin levels, the hormone required to maintain supply, is significantly higher during the night. Babies are build to be awake at night and melatonin boosted milk is made to help them get back to sleep. Irregular feeding schedules can reduce milk production, making it harder to maintain breastfeeding, which is crucial for infant nutrition and immune support.

The Social and Cultural Issues Behind Sleep Training

Sleep training is not just a parenting technique; it reflects deeper social biases. The practice often assumes a one-size-fits-all approach that ignores cultural differences in infant care. For example, many cultures practice room sharing, cosleeping or breastsleeping, where babies sleep close to their caregivers. These practices support frequent feeding and comfort, which align with babies’ natural needs.

Critics argue that sleep training can be misogynistic because it places the burden of “fixing” infant sleep on mothers, often without support. Mothers are encouraged to put their baby away so they can get back to work or to resume the duties of the"marital bed." Sleep training was never a benefit for baby. Considering mother's brain and baby's brains are connected, this can increase stress in both people. It also has racist undertones by dismissing caregiving styles common in non-Western cultures. These biases can make parents feel isolated or judged for following their instincts or cultural traditions. And don't get me started on the horrible history of the nursery and wet-nurses.

What Is Co-Regulation and Why It Matters

Co-regulation means that caregivers respond to their baby’s signals with warmth and consistency. When a baby cries, a caregiver’s soothing touch, voice, or feeding helps calm the infant’s nervous system. Over time, babies learn to manage their emotions better because they feel safe and understood. Babies have approximately 20% adult brain size at birth. They do not understand schedules or routines because they have not developed their prefrontal cortex. They do not understand time or place. They can only cry for help and hope that help is coming.

Co-regulation supports brain development by reducing stress and promoting secure attachment. It also respects the baby’s developmental stage, recognizing that infants cannot self-soothe in the way adults do. Co-regulation builds a foundation for emotional resilience.

Practical Ways to Support Co-Regulation

Parents and caregivers can foster co-regulation through several practical steps:

• Follow the Academy of Pediatrics guidelines and keep baby bedside for at least the first 6 months, ideally the entire first year.

• Keep baby skin to skin or babywear.

• Remember your baby does not understand where you are until they develop object permanence.

• Respond promptly to cries to reassure the baby that their needs will be met.

• Support breastfeeding to ensure steady milk supply and comfort.

• Practice gentle touch and soothing sounds to help regulate the baby’s nervous system.

  
  

These methods promote safe sleep while honoring the baby’s natural rhythms and needs.

Following safe sleep guidelines provides ideal support for parent and baby

Moving Away from Sleep Training Toward Compassionate Care

The evidence from new neuroscience and cultural studies suggests that sleep training should not be the approach for infant sleep. Instead, parents and professionals should focus on compassionate care that supports co-regulation. This means valuing the baby’s signals and responding with patience and love.

Health professionals and sleep consultants must be held accountable to provide evidence-based, culturally sensitive advice. Parents deserve support that respects their values and the science of infant development. By shifting away from rigid sleep training, families can build stronger bonds and healthier futures. I look forward to working together to support healthy sleep habits for the entire family and you can always catch me encouraging more parental leave! Where to find more information? Take my Science of Sleep class! You can find other great resources here: https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/ https://podcasts.apple.com/is/podcast/how-babies-sleep-a-conversation-with-dr-helen-ball/id1764781863?i=1000737423475 https://littlesparklers.org/carly-grubb